


don't blame me (love made me crazy)

by darkrosemind



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Charles loves Peraltiago, Charles tries to get Jake and Amy together, F/M, Peraltiago, he can hear wedding bells, merry christmas/happy new year!!!, they're his OTP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 17:07:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17227964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkrosemind/pseuds/darkrosemind
Summary: Charles loves Jake with all of his heart, and it's no secret that Jake is in love with Amy. Charles just wants Jake to realize that Amy is perfect for him! Peraltiago, after all, is Charles's one true pairing and he just wants them both to be happy. Together. Forever.for @romanticcstylez! merry christmas and happy new year!!





	don't blame me (love made me crazy)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [romanticcstylez](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=romanticcstylez).



> hi, @romanticcstylez, i'm your secret santa! i do think i remember you mentioning that you liked peraltiago and also charles, so i wrote you a little something!! i hope you enjoy it!!!

Charles Boyle had so much love to give out. He loved love so much. Even more than Terry loved love. Charles just wanted to make sure that his friends were happy and loved and that they were living the best lives that they could possibly be living.

You know, even though they hated his teriyaki balls, and any other cool and exciting food that he tried to introduce to them. Really, their taste buds were not at all up to date.

He was the one who knew it from the start; that Jake and Amy were meant to be. Charles could literally hear the wedding bells the first time Jake and Amy met! Jake had insisted that he was watching too many rom-coms and the wedding bells were inside of his head and that Charles was being weird, but Charles knew better.

Wedding bells.

It was a sign! A sign that Jake and Amy were soulmates!

From the day that Jake had arrived at the Nine-Nine, Charles had instantly become friends with him. They were assigned a case together, and Charles was just awed by how _awesome_ Jake was. He hadn’t seen any of the Die Hard movies, but Jake said that they could have a movie marathon later on.

The movie marathon was awesome. So was Jake. He had bags of gummies and candies and large bottles of orange soda. Jake didn’t even bother to pour the drink into a glass! He just drank it straight from the bottle, just like the cool dude that he was.

Jake was also single. Charles wanted all of his friends to find love and be happy, especially his new best friend. He himself had just gotten divorced after his ex-wife had cheated on him, so he wanted to make sure that Jake would find a love that would love and cherish him forever and ever. Charles wanted to make sure that Jake could be happy. And if Jake was happy, then Charles was happy.

Charles thought about playing matchmaker with Jake and some cute girls from his cooking class, but Jake wasn’t really interested. According to Jake, he was super happy with being single for the time being. He could do whatever awesome stuff he wanted and no one could hold him back. Charles admired that and let go of the matchmaking thing.

Until Amy Santiago came along. Rumored was the fact that members of the Boyle family lineage could hear wedding bells when two soulmates met for the first time. And Charles heard them loud and clear: wedding bells. (Even though stupid cousin Milton kept on saying that the wedding bell thing wasn’t true and it was just some stupid thing that Uncle Lindsay had made up as a bedtime story. Stupid, naive, cousin Milton.)

He had mentally started to plan out Jake and Amy’s wedding, before stopping himself from lifting his hopes up too high. It was good that he had stopped himself because Jake had come over to Charles’s desk later that day to inform him that he couldn’t hang out because he had a date.

“Jake! You have a date! That’s great news! But what about—” Charles stops himself from saying Amy Santiago’s name.

“What about what? Hanging out? Yeah, I know, and I’m sorry. Maybe next week?”

“Yeah, sure, Jake!” Charles says enthusiastically.

But as the months progress, Charles notices every little conflict that Jake and Amy have. It’s his job as a detective to notice things, after all. He sees how Jake teases Amy, and Charles is _certain_ that it’s true love. Even though the two claim to _hate_ each other, Charles can see how bored the two get when the other doesn’t come in for work.

“This day sucks,” Amy mutters to Charles one day. Jake is out sick, and Charles and Amy are working on a case together. Charles lifts an eyebrow.

“Is it because Jake isn’t here?” he asks her with a knowing smile. Amy wrinkles her nose.

“Ugh, _no._ Peralta is incredibly annoying. If anything, I’m _happy_ that he’s not here today. It’s very peaceful in the precinct without him and his immature antics,” Amy says.

“It’s very peaceful and _boring,”_ Charles says. Amy rolls her eyes but doesn’t bother to rebuttal Charles’s point. She neatly scrawls something on a file with black ink and swats Charles’s hand away as he attempts to write something with a blue pen.

“You can’t mix up two colors of ink on a report,” she tells him. This was another thing that Charles had come to know: Amy Santiago was a perfectionist. And this made her perfect for Jake Peralta. She was the organized to his messy, the graceful to his clumsy, and the sensible to his foolishness.

Charles could just imagine their wedding; Amy’s beautiful white wedding dress and Jake’s clean tux and how Amy would gracefully walk down the aisle. Charles would be Jake’s best man, of course. There was absolutely no other option and if there was, then Charles would have no other option but to either kill himself or move to Ottawa, Canada, the land of nothing.

“This is boring,” Amy complains after a few minutes.

“You can’t be bored doing paperwork!” Charles nearly yells. “You’re Amy freaking Santiago!”

This makes Amy smile. “I know, but there’s nothing _happening_ here today. It’s so quiet,” she says.

“I mean, you could always talk to Rosa,” Charles says, glancing towards Rosa. At the mention of her name, the detective scowls and narrows her eyes at them.

“No!” Amy hisses. “Rosa’s _scary._ I don’t think she really likes me. She’s like one of those kids in grade school who hated me because the teachers didn’t.”

“Rosa’s not scary! Rosa’s… _incredible,_ ” Charles argues. Amy raises an eyebrow and Charles quickly decides to change the subject. “Come on, Amy, just admit that you wish Jake was here,” he says.

Amy sighs. “Never,” she says.

The next day, Jake comes into work half an hour late, wearing a huge smile on his face. “I heard that _someone_ missed me!” he announces, looking straight at Amy. Amy scowls.

“You’re late, Peralta,” she says. Charles watches the two playfully bicker with a huge smile on his face, only turning away when he hears someone clear their throat behind him.

It’s Gina Linetti, the civilian administrator. Charles hasn’t known her for very long, but he does know that she’s _quite_ the drama queen. Charles whips around and stammers; he’s not quite confident in the intimidating aura that Gina holds around her. She might perhaps be even more frightening that Rosa Diaz. Rosa could _hurt_ you, but that would heal. No, Gina Linetti could ruin your life _forever._

“You’re seeing this too?” Charles says to her, motioning towards  Jake and Amy.

“Oh, Carl—”

“Charles,” he automatically corrects.

“Whatever. Anyways, I’ve known Jake for _years._ He’s head over heels in love with… that girl. What’s her name again?”

“Amy. Amy Santiago,” Charles says.

“I don’t care. Anyways, Jake isn’t very much in touch with his feelings, so he’ll _never_ tell her that he likes her,” Gina says. Charles grins.

“I’m on it,” he says.

But Amy just doesn’t seem to take him seriously. “No, I’m _telling_ you, Jake is in love with you! I promise!” Charles tells her. Amy snorts.

“Yeah, right. And five across on yesterday’s crossword was undestructable instead of indestructible,” she says. “Gross.”

Jake comes by right then. “What are you guys doing?”

Amy looks up at him. “Charles keeps on telling me that you’re in love with me,” she says, wrinkling her nose. Jake glares at Charles.

“Damn it, Amy,” Charles mutters.

“First of all, I am _not_ in love with Amy. Gross,” Jake says.

“Oh, that’s exactly what she said!” Charles exclaims. “Oh, you guys are so cute!”

Both Amy and Jake gag. “Charles, a word please?” Jake says. Charles gets up and Jake leads him to the break room. “Stop telling Amy that I’m in love with her!”

“But you are!”

“No, I’m not!”

“But Gina said—”

Jake raises an eyebrow. “Gina said what?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Gina says, sashaying by. “Quite feeding Jake these terrible lies about me, Boyle. You know nothing about me; not even my middle name.”

“Oh, I know your middle name,” Jake says. “You told me in the tenth grade! It’s Fabulous-Ethereal-Wonderful-Amazing-Powerful. Gina Fabulous-Ethereal-Wonderful-Amazing-Powerful Linetti.”

“Thank you, Jake. That will be all,” Gina says before breezily walking away.

“Sometimes I think that she’s not a real human being,” Charles mutters.

“What? Of course she’s real, Charles! I grew up with her!” Jake says. Amy walks into the break room.

“Is everything okay here?” she asks.

Jake and Charles both nod. “Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. No doubt, no doubt.”

Months pass by. Raymond Holt becomes the new captain of the Nine-Nine, as well as Amy’s personal idol. Jake goes undercover with the mafia, but Charles has received a tip from Gina that—

“He told her that he _likes_ her?!” Charles squawks upon hearing the news. “Oh my goodness, it’s just like in the movies! Now he’s gonna come back for her after completing his dangerous mission and they’re gonna get married—”

“She’s dating Teddy, stupid,” Rosa cuts in. They (Rosa, Charles, and Gina) are having a secret meeting in Babylon, where Rosa and Gina may or may have not been making out a few minutes before Charles had arrived.

“Oof,” Gina mutters.

“Oh, but this is such a milestone! Now he knows that he like her, and _she_ knows that he likes her, so she’ll have to be having some more feelings! Peraltiago is gonna happen, baby!” Charles says excitedly. He pumps his fist in the air, nearly hitting Rosa in the face. “Jake is single and as soon as Amy dumps Teddy, they’re gonna be together forever!”

It turns out that Peraltiago doesn’t exactly happen as soon as Charles would’ve hoped. Jake comes back from his undercover mission, and Charles is just _waiting_ for him to go to Amy—

“I’m dating Sophia,” Jake tells Charles one morning.

Charles internally screams out of despair. On the outside, he manages to smile brightly. “That’s great, Jakey! Do you love her?”

Jake frowns. “Isn’t it a little too early for that?”

“Do you love her as much as you love—” Charles stops with Amy’s name right at the tip of his tongue.

“As much as I love Die Hard? No, Charles, Die Hard is always going to be the first love of my life,” Jake tell him.

“Yeah, that,” Charles replies.

But then the whole thing at the hotel happens. Charles only gets to hear the details and he really wishes that he had been there to see it happen. It turns out that Amy liked Jake back! Well, she had, at one point. Now Amy was the single one and Jake was in a relationship.

“Sophia broke up with me,” Jake mopes at his desk in the bullpen one morning. Internally, Charles is cheering, but he manages to pull a face of sympathy for Jake’s sake.

“Oh, that sucks,” he says.

A while later, Charles and Rosa both get text messages from Gina telling them to go down to Babylon. They hurry to the secret bathroom and meet Gina there, who is busy lighting a few candles.

“What’s going on? Is everything in public relations okay?” Rosa asks with concern.

“It’s as boring as ever,” Gina says. “Anyways, Jake and Amy are secretly dating, and if your new captain finds out, he will surely die,” she tells them. “And since Jake and Amy are now dating, you, Rosa, sweetheart, now owe me fifty dollars.”

Rosa scowls and pulls out her wallet.

“Wait, the captain’s gonna die?” Charles ask.

“It’s a figure of speech, Boyle,” Gina says.

“I can’t believe that Jake and Amy are finally dating! I told you that Peraltiago was gonna happen!” Charles nearly screams with excitement. Gina’s phone buzzes.

“And… that is Holt. Gotta go name a pigeon, bye,” Gina says, swiftly exiting the bathroom. Rosa gazes after her but snaps out of her trance as Charles starts victory dancing.

“Come on. Let’s go back to work,” Rosa says, and leads Charles out of Babylon and back to the bullpen.

“Why… why are the paramedics here?” Charles asks.

“Oh, damn. Jake and Amy just killed Dozerman,” Rosa says, pointing at the stretcher.

“Gina said it was a figure of speech!” Charles says. “He’s actually dead?”

“Looks like it.” Rosa says, walking over to Jake and Amy. “Hey, what were you guys doing in the evidence lockup anyways?” she asks.

“Working! We were, uh, working,” Amy stammers.

“Yes, we were working! On opposite sides of the room! And then Dozerman just came in and… died,” Jake finishes.

“Okay. I’ll just pull the security tapes—” Rosa starts with a smirk.

“No!” both Jake and Amy exclaim at the same time.

“Why not? What were you two doing in there, kissing?” Charles cuts in with a bold smile on his face.

“Oh, look! Uh, Holt is calling me… on my cell phone!” Amy says, hurriedly pulling her phone out of her pocket and walking a few feet away with the phone pressed to her ear. As Charles continues to interrogate Jake, Rosa whips out her own phone to call Amy.

It rings loudly against her ear. “Ow!” Amy exclaims, nearly dropping the phone. Rosa raises an eyebrow.

A week later, Jake and Amy are confirmed to be dating, and Charles is the happiest man on the planet. He’s picturing the wedding. It’s absolutely perfect and beautiful in his mind, and he just can’t _wait_ for Jake and Amy to just get married and live together forever and ever.

**Author's Note:**

> i didn't proofread this at all, so i apologize for the... choppiness?? of the fic.


End file.
